The Struggles

I know it’s been a while since my last post. May has been one of the most difficult months. It left me confused most days and defeated every night. I spent the whole month trying to figure out what I’m doing with my life and why I’m even here. There were a lot of days where I thought I was terrible for this job. My wonderful host parents kept reassuring me that I’m doing an excellent job.

I’ve always thought I do better when I’m alone. That being somewhere brand new with no friends and no family would be a healthy start to my “fresh new start”. Little did I know that this big European move will affect my mental health like nothing else.

The first few weeks in Ireland (Europe in general) I was okay. I was thriving for the most part. After a few weeks, I became so incredibly lonely and lost. Moving somewhere that’s completely unfamiliar and with a culture change is incredibly hard. Plus on top of that, I didn’t have any friends. I began to miss home so much. I missed my friends, my family, and all the things I was able to do back home.

Luckily that feeling of loneliness started to drift off when I began to meet new friends and became familiar to my surroundings and formed new routines. Then came the struggles of having to figure out what I wanted to do when I came home. Everyone here keeps asking me “What are your plans when you come home” and I honestly don’t know. It’s terrifying knowing that I have no idea what’s to come by the end of this journey.

Thank God for my wonderful boyfriend who listened to my endless rants and cry sessions about what I’m going to do. He’s supported me so much through all of this. Also a huge thanks to my mom who constantly reminded me that this is a once in a lifetime journey for me whenever I felt like I made a mistake. After taking a month to make plans for my future and mentally got my shit together, I feel better.

I’m thriving so much. I’ve made quite a few close friends here. I’ve seen so much of Ireland and I’ve discovered so much about myself. I’ve discovered that I’m strong even when I feel weak and lost. I have a date on when I’m coming back to the states. As excited as I am to be able to see my loved ones and eat endless amounts of cebolla’s and multiple target runs, I’m not ready to leave Ireland anytime soon. Ireland will always be my second home and county Meath will always be a part of me.

So no one worry about me. I needed to take a minute to figure it all out. I’m happy and I’m excited to see what else in store for me. This has been an amazing journey and I don’t want it to end. Regardless of how hard it might get.

Sláinte

Bridget